Stop Victim Blaming

3 min readFeb 13, 2022

Why do we blame the victim instead of the perpetrator?

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I recently commented on a story about a mom leaving her kids in the car to run into the store during a snowstorm at 7 pm. She left the car on and went in and when she came out someone stole her car with her two kids inside. People were commenting on the post calling it negligent and saying she should go to jail for child negligence. Now hear me out. What she did was not ok, but I took the time to put myself in that moms’ shoes. Thankfully the kids were found safe. One child was found barefoot on a sidewalk and the one-year-old was found in her stolen car. This mom was frantic and called the police immediately. I got my head chewed off for commenting to stop victim-blaming because we don’t know what mom’s situation is.

I thought back to when I was a single mom and had my baby. When my son got sick late at night, I didn’t have anywhere to leave him so I would have to take him with me to the pharmacy or WaWa to get what they need. Do you take the kids inside in below freezing weather to go into the store quickly ideally? Sometimes you’re in such a rush you just go get what you need and come out. I’m sure this mom wasn’t thinking oh let me purposefully leave my kids alone in the car so some idiot would take them. People love to deflect on the situation and the problem, and it's that those two kids and a car was stolen.

We point fingers at victims constantly. If a woman gets raped oh, she shouldn’t be out late, or she shouldn’t wear provocative clothing. If someone goes through domestic abuse and ends up dead, well she must have liked it or she’s stupid for staying. I can name 101 reasons why victims stay. If a child gets abused by a guy or a teen is out in the streets doing bad things where is the mom at? Parents are responsible. News flash parents do not have eyes in the back of their heads at all times. Yes, it is our job to raise our kids and guide them to the best of our knowledge but please understand that these kids develop their personalities and end up doing wrong no matter how much you raise them right. I see it constantly people judging others saying why can’t these parents do better.

Not everyone lives life the way you think. Sometimes pain and suffering are all people know, and they don’t do better because they don’t know better is out there. It’s no…


Life Style & Mental Health Writer. I love to read and write. I’ll follow back!